Whitehouse Archives - Parent Your Parents

Recognizing the Power of the Boomer Generation and the Perks of Aging

Posted: December 25, 2022

As Boomers age, we must live up to our reputation as an explosive generation. Part of the “unseen elder” syndrome is our fault. We allow others to treat us as though we’re...

Hospice and Medicare: Senior Abuse?

Posted: December 15, 2022

My client’s 94-year-old mother was killed while in hospice. How? She fell out of bed, broke her femur, and died within days. She fell out of bed because the hospice...

Elders Can’t Survive Storms Without Help – We Are Obligated as a Culture to Create an Infrastructure to Help

Posted: November 25, 2022

Kaiser Health News (KHN) and AARP are great at espousing policy but ask them for “boots on the ground” assistance, and they refer you to a government agency. The last...

How Old is Too Old to Be the President of the United States?

Posted: November 15, 2022

What’s in a number? Forty-eight-year-old, Bret Stephens, a New York Times opinion columnist, thinks the number 86 is too old to be the President of the United States. This is the...

The Constant Battle to Protect Our Elders

Posted: October 25, 2022

As I write this, I’m on hold with the Alliance for Aging. This private, non-profit agency assists Elders in qualifying for Medicaid and other benefits. This was my third attempt...

Dementia is Not a Given

Posted: October 15, 2022

I have clients of all ages – some children and some parents. One client, an 87-year-old lady with dementia, only has me in her world. Her daughter predeceased her. Could...

Why Aren’t Banks Protecting Our Elders?

Posted: September 25, 2022

My husband has dementia which is why I learned to do our taxes! Was it enjoyable? No, but now that it’s over, I’m thrilled that I understand the process of...

What You Should Know about Durable Powers of Attorney and Health Surrogacies

Posted: September 15, 2022

There are two documents everyone needs in their estate plan: The Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) and a Health Surrogacy or Advanced Health Directive. Both documents are used when for...

Navigating the Airport Wheelchair System

Posted: August 25, 2022

Wheelchair provider companies at most large airports have no competition, so they don’t have to try … and it shows. When Dad first needed a wheelchair, I used to drop...

The Best Way Out is Through

Posted: August 15, 2022

I am sometimes sad; upset with the hand I was dealt. I feel as though I can’t catch a break. It seems the whole world is against me, and I...

Wisdom, experience and knowledge are how Sully landed plane in water

Posted: November 8, 2021

When I was thirty, forty and fifty I had parties celebrating my age! Then fifty-five arrived… whoops, next I’d be sixty! For the following five years I lied about my age...

Money conversations among family members can be a monster rearing its ugly head. Although Durable Powers of Attorney (DPOA) are in place which allow for shared responsibility and shared communication,...

Advice for Elder Law and Life Two Documents That Solve Multiple Problems: DPOA and Living Will

Posted: September 2, 2021

There are two documents everyone needs once they are adults. The Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) and an Advanced Healthcare Directive/Living Will. These documents are used when you’re in a...

That’s the dream

Posted: August 13, 2021

At 73, Hips swinging in her bodycon Armani dress, she walks across the tile floor, heels clicking. Ahhh, it’s good to be tall! She meets people’s eyes, smiles, demurely looks...

COVID Hypocrisy

Posted: May 4, 2021

Slowly we’re getting vaccinated, tested and the ‘positivity’ rate is coming down. We still have all the CDC guidelines in place and the media is warning us of another possible...

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A CAREGIVER

Posted: May 4, 2021

Don’t you love the advice given by periodicals, talk shows and the internet on how to age or be a caregiver? Everyone has advice but no real solutions. Until you...

Estate plan

Posted: May 4, 2021

I was visiting my client at her Assisted Living Center on a fabulous campus that includes an Independent Living Tower and a Nursing Home. As I walked up to have...

Good health, education and an economic environment

Posted: March 5, 2021

I listened to Hillary Clinton (#HillaryClinton) and Nancy Pelosi (#NancyPelosi) chat and praise each other on Secretary Clinton’s podcast, You and Me Both which aired January 18, 2021, (#youandmeboth). Both...

“Microaggressions” and “implicit bias”

Posted: February 23, 2021

Microaggressions” and “implicit bias” are not new words but have come into mainstream verbiage because of the #metoo and #blacklivesmatter movement. The broad definition of both is remarks or actions...

The vaccine is here!

Posted: February 3, 2021

The vaccine is here! (Fireworks! Applause! Confetti!) But is it? I applaud Florida for vaccinating the over 65 crowd first but not the manner in which it’s done. How many...

Wow, 2020 is over !

Posted: February 3, 2021

Wow, 2020 is over. Phew! Yet, think about it, 12 years ago we were all ringing our hands at the end of 2008 as the Great Recession a/k/a the Financial...

Grace and Virtue

Posted: November 3, 2020

We value virtue but do not discuss it. The honest bookkeeper, the faithful wife, the earnest scholar get little of our attention compared to the embezzler, the tramp, the cheat....

Technology for Caregivers

Posted: September 2, 2020

The Best Tools and Technology for Long-Distance Caregivers Many caregivers live too far away from their loved ones to provide hands-on care. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t take care...

THAT AGE OLD STORY OF LOVE & GLORY

Posted: July 8, 2020

I think of some of the “senior” love stories I’ve heard and seen. One favorite is my maternal grandmother and grandfather — Mimi and Dad. Dad died at the relatively...

Resiliency

Posted: July 8, 2020

What more can happen to us?!? Pandemic, police killings, protests, riots . . . take a breath! Why has this happened. All this chaos! ARGH! One answer is hubris. Most...

Good news and gratitude

Posted: July 8, 2020

Senior Sex Toys was one of the many ideas I had for this week’s column. Aren’t we all tired of Covid 19 and its grizzly counts? No one is counting...

Celebrate

Posted: April 7, 2020

Did you know that Dr. Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease, was the Captain of his High School Basketball team and he’s “about” 5’7” tall?...

Find Good in the Bad

Posted: March 25, 2020

Thank goodness seniors have wisdom, creativity and the confidence to draw upon them in a time of crisis. The bad news is everywhere – either you’re at risk for becoming...

Reflections on being 90, 95 or 100

Posted: February 28, 2020

In Great Britain, when one of her subjects turns 100, Queen Elizabeth sends them a birthday card. Next year her husband will join those ranks. This year there are 13,000...

Getting involved

Posted: February 12, 2020

Studies abound about seniors who are lonely or feel isolated. It turns out it’s not as bad as we thought. Some statistics: loneliness surveys from AARP and the University of...

‘Death at home’

Posted: February 6, 2020

‘Death at home’ has become a societal priority and the scene painted is idyllic – the patient is ‘at home’, in bed, surrounded by loved ones in a familiar environment. ...

AGEISM – ALIVE AND WELL

Posted: February 4, 2020

As the population looks to elect a President over the age of 75, the exact opposite is happening in the workplace. In 2018 the Equal Opportunity Commission, the nation’s workforce...

Spousal Refusal

Posted: January 28, 2020

Spousal refusal is a legally valid Medicaid planning option in just two states: New York and Florida. By way of background, certain income and assets are exempt from Medicaid if...

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks

Posted: January 28, 2020

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” . . . “old habits die hard” . . . “you’ve made your bed, now you have to lie in it” and,...

Beware of Reverse Mortgages

Posted: January 27, 2020

My parents had a Reverse Mortgage. When they moved out in 2014 the house was returned to the Department of Housing and Urban Development through a process called a Deed...

DEMENTIA – BE RESPECTFUL

Posted: January 27, 2020

Alzheimer’s, a form of dementia, is a bit like “mental illness” – we lower our voice when we mention that someone in our family or “circle” has been diagnosed. Further,...

Why Aren’t We Worried About Our Presidents Losing Cognitive Function?

Posted: January 22, 2020

Why Aren’t We Worried About Our Presidents Losing Cognitive Function? In 2020 we will elect a new President. In 2017, Donald Trump, at the age of 70, was the oldest...

PARTY HEARTY WITH EVERYONE!

Posted: January 22, 2020

🎶IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR🎶 sings Andy Williams in his iconic holiday song. Yet for many seniors it’s the worst time. They no longer have family or...

SEX and the single senior

Posted: January 22, 2020

Sex and the single senior or alive and well. Simply because we look old doesn’t mean that fantasies of throbbing members and wet flowers are gone. In fact, STDs (Sexually...

Hospice and Medicare Can be a Deadly Cocktail

Posted: October 2, 2019

My client’s 94 year old Mother was killed while in Hospice. How? She fell out of bed, broke her femur and died within days. She fell out of bed because...

Policing hospice

Posted: July 17, 2019

The Son wakes up at all hours of the night. He hears his Mother groaning, her cries and sees her contorted face when she tries to hide the pain. He...

Six Elder Abuse Myths

Posted: July 17, 2019

There are many misconceptions about how, why and how often abuse occurs. Myth No. 1: Most elder abuse occurs in nursing homes Fact: Most elder abuse occurs by family, trusted friends,...

87% of US hospices surveyed had deficiencies, inspector general says

Posted: July 15, 2019

A pair of startling new reports from the U.S. Department of Health and Human ServicesOffice of Inspector General paints a troubling picture of America’s hospice system — with serious deficiencies...

HIPPA SHMIPPA

Posted: June 26, 2019

HIPAA, the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 is legislation that provides data privacy and security provisions for safeguarding medical information. That’s not all it does . ....

Do you think you’re ready ? Well, you’re not.

Posted: June 5, 2019

Thank you readers for all your wonderful, validating comments about my very personal article in discussing Mom. I also want to thank Raquel Garcia, the Associate Editor, for encouraging me...

Mom goes to nursing home

Posted: June 5, 2019

The hardest thing I ever did was put my 87 year old Mother’s belongings in a 4 X 4 box and admit her to a nursing home. We had run...

Hospice Care & Palliative Care – When to use Them

Posted: April 10, 2019

Hospice a word that is synonymous with “end of life” care. Palliative – a little more confusing and often confused with ‘end of life’. The two are very different therapies...

How to Avoid Falls at Home

Posted: April 8, 2019

A practical guide for seniors and their family members. We would like to provide you with some practical information on how to prevent the fall of older people, who may...

What did Luke Perry teach us.

Posted: April 8, 2019

LUKE PERRY (90210) SHOWED US HOW TO DIE. Luke Perry suffered a major stroke at 52. Like many in the movie industry, he had a blended family . . ....

We’ve Grown Up But Not Old

Posted: April 3, 2019

“The trick is growing up without growing old.” Casey Stengal Most of my 65-and-over friends work – one has a retail store, another (at 80) still does Public Relations for...

Video: Statistics Don’t Lie. Family are the Biggest Abusers

Posted: March 22, 2019

Who are the worst exploiters of seniors? Family, Friends, and Trusted Professionals! Watch the video to find out more.

TECHNOLOGY: HELP DON’T HINDER SENIORS

Posted: March 21, 2019

This past week I was with a client for whom I do legal work. I adore her, a retired college professor with a great sense of humor! She has mobility issues...

PREPLANNING TOOLS

Posted: March 15, 2019

As everyone is aware, the mantra of Parent Your Parents is two-fold – DO NOT EXPLOIT OUR SENIORS and PREPLAN! Today I want to give you some preplanning tools to...

Real Senior Exploitation: Buzz Aldrin’s Story

Posted: March 6, 2019

Senior Exploitation - The Buzz Aldrin Story

WHO IS THE WORST EXPLOITERS OF SENIORS – FAMILY! I WORK CONSTANTLY AT TRYING TO GET MONEY BACK FROM SOLAR POWER COMPANIES WHO SELL SENIORS UNWEILDY 20 YEAR CONTRACTS, BUT...

The warning signs of financial abuse

Posted: March 6, 2019

Following are some signs that financial elder abuse may be occurring: Senior is not allowed to spend money the way the senior wants Senior’s bills are not paid on time...

9 Symptoms of Alzheimer’s

Posted: February 1, 2019

Do you know these basic signs of Alzheimer’s? An Alzheimer’s diagnosis is upsetting but there are positive steps everyone can take to make this as easy as possible for those affected.

“(Super) Heroes Are Made Not Born!

Posted: January 15, 2019

OMG!! Stan Lee the MAKER of super heroes died! As most of us know, he was the creative genius behind most of Marvel’s super heroes, BUT his wife Joanie was...

Senior Exploitation

Posted: January 7, 2019

THE WORST CRIME OF ALL – SENIOR EXPLOITATION We hear horror stories of nurses and aides murdering seniors by giving them to much medication or basic neglect (like Holly wood...

Stay Relevant, Smart & Sexy

Posted: December 30, 2018

The past year the news has often included the failure of the Broward County Sheriff’s department to prevent the bloodletting on Valentine’s Day at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. And it...

Resources for Caregiving from Afar

Posted: December 22, 2018

Our resource partner, Claire Wentz http://caringfromafar.com/, wrote this informative article we thought you would enjoy! Sometimes, living close to a senior parent who needs support isn’t an option. Uprooting a family...

The Pleasures of Old Age

Posted: August 30, 2018

“Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth.” W. Somerset Maugham. With maturity comes an ‘ease of being.’ It’s true,...

WALKING ON THE MOON DOES NOT KEEP YOU FROM AGING

Posted: August 15, 2018

Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, is 88 years old and has met his fourth wife. The bad news, the kids don’t like her. Here’s...

AGING ALONE? PREPLAN!

Posted: August 6, 2018

Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it you’ve got to start young.” That is especially true if you plan to...

Rethinking the “I’m Old” Myth

Posted: July 21, 2018

Now that I’m a senior advocate and activist, I find that many things that used to be funny are now insulting. Recently, Julie Andrews did a performance to benefit AARP...

GROW OLD OR PURSUE YOUR DREAM?

Posted: July 10, 2018

Gabriel García Márquez states it beautifully, “It is not true that people stop pursuing their dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing their dreams.” ...

Medicare Supplement Insurance . . . It Can Be Tricky

Posted: June 15, 2018

George, an 85 year old, was surprised when he received a $4000 bill for his pacemaker replacement procedure, after he was told that it would cost him $250. He’d...

TREATMENT OPTIONS

Posted: May 30, 2018

Once a family member becomes ill, we seem to go into a reactive mode instead of proactive mode. Much of this stems from our avoidance . . . we...

VIVE LA VIDA BUENA (LIVE THE GOOD LIFE)

Posted: May 5, 2018

From March 6 to April 8 of this year, I experienced five deaths of people I consider part of my life. Two were wonderful with whom who I had the...

FLORIDA ADDS MORE MONEY FOR SENIOR CARE

Posted: March 23, 2018

As we all now know, after Hurricane Irma fourteen elderly souls died because the nursing home in which they resided did not have a electricity after the storm. As a...

Emergency Preparedness for Seniors

Posted: March 2, 2018

The article below was published by Nursing Home Law News. It was written by Jonathoan Rosenfeld who is the publisher and an attorney. The best part of this article is...

THE PERILS OF HOSPITALS

Posted: February 28, 2018

HOSPITALS — once synonymous with a place to go when you’re REALLY sick is now the last place you want to be unless it’s prescheduled surgery with a doctor you...

Elder Rage: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

Posted: February 8, 2018

We at Parent Your Parents think this is a terrific “true experience” article authored by Jacqueline Marcell. Jacqueline is also the Author of Elder Rage @www.ElderRage.com. Check it out! Jacqueline...

SENIORS SHOULD NEVER SUFFER . . . BUT THEY DO

Posted: January 25, 2018

This is an editorial to the Miami Herald written by H. Frances Reaves, Esq., President of Parent Your Parents, in October of 2017. This was written after Hurricane Harvey and...

NOT ALL HOSPICE IS CREATED EQUAL

Posted: January 21, 2018

What is Hospice? First, it is a type of care and philosophy that focuses on the palliation of a chronically ill, terminally ill or seriously ill patient’s pain and symptoms,...

FINANCIAL TRANSPARENCY

Posted: January 15, 2018

As I’ve discussed in several articles the discussion of money is a must but can also be a monster rearing its ugly head. We’ve discussed having Powers of Attorney...

NURSING HOMES – HOW TO FIND A GOOD ONE

Posted: January 1, 2018

I am confident most of you heard the news about the fourteen seniors who died from overheating. They were all in a licensed “nursing home” in Hollywood Hills. ‘Nursing...

The Expected is Still Unexpected

Posted: November 25, 2017

On July 28th, at 1:00 am in the morning my phone rang, it was the hospice nurse informing me that Mom had died at 12:28 a And yes, our hospice...

Nursing Homes – Often the End Game

Posted: November 15, 2017

I am confident most of you heard the news about the eight seniors who died from overheating. They were all in a licensed “nursing home” in Hollywood Hills. ‘Nursing...

Tough Love – Parenting Your Parents

Posted: November 5, 2017

It’s not easy to parent your parents — it’s not a pleasant role — it means Mom, Dad or both are getting weaker and none of us want to admit...

Observations After a Disaster

Posted: October 31, 2017

If you haven’t seen the video of the residents of a nursing home in Houston, Texas sitting in waist high water simply search “video of seniors in waist high water”...

LAST RITES OR LAST RIGHTS?

Posted: September 20, 2017

My nephew was getting married — everyone in our family was thrilled — we love his wife, love him and love that they found each other. The wedding was in...

THE BEGINNING OF THE END, HOSPICE CARE

Posted: September 10, 2017

Well, the call finally came, “Ms. Reaves, we’d like to re-evaluate your Mother. She has lost more of her core function and we think she might be a candidate for...

BEST CARE OPTIONS

Posted: August 31, 2017

During the journey many of us will take with an older family member there will come the juncture of whether to have in-home care, a move to a smaller place...

IN HOME CARE – BE WARY, BE INFORMED

Posted: August 24, 2017

It’s a good news/bad news scenario. The good news, you have enough money to have in-home care. The bad news, it’s implementation time — finding the right company or person. ...

Boring But Useful: Medicare/Medicaid – They Sound Alike But Are Very Different

Posted: July 17, 2017

BORING BUT USEFUL: MEDICARE – MEDICAID — THEY SOUND ALIKE BUT ARE VERY DIFFERENT Many of us think if we’re eligible for Medicare then we’re also eligible for Medicaid —...

Monitoring the Monitors – Assisted Living Centers

Posted: June 12, 2017

That dreaded phone call — the one where you don’t know the person at the other end of the line and he or she says, “we’re calling about your Mother.”...

The Airport Wheelchair – How to Navigate the System

Posted: May 23, 2017

THE AIRPORT WHEELCHAIR – HOW TO NAVIGATE THE SYSTEM The other day, while running in Crandon Park, I came across my friend, Lilian, whose elderly Mom is in pretty good...

The Big Event – Travel Plans with Aging Parents

Posted: April 21, 2017

This occasion has been in the making for over a year . . . family is coming together and it’s a happy, happy occasion. The entire time your parents have...

The Search Begins – First Steps for Choosing An Assisted Living Center

Posted: April 13, 2017

You walk into the lobby and take a deep breath. How did you get here? Why is this necessary? How did my very competent ‘elders’ all of a sudden need...

The Emotional Toll

Posted: April 13, 2017

NOTHING prepares you for your parents aging. Our company can assist with the financial scams and pitfalls but you’re the one who has to watch Mom, Dad, Grandma or Grandad...

Hospital to Rehab – The Great Medicare Scam

Posted: April 13, 2017

This is one of my all time favorites — the “Hospital to Rehab” scam. Here’s how it works: A medicare, assisted living center client needs to go to...

Hospitals – How to Manage Your Loved One’s Care in the Hospital

Posted: April 13, 2017

HOSPITALS — once synonymous with a place to go when you’re REALLY sick is now the last place you want to be unless it’s prescheduled surgery with a doctor you...

The Long Term Care Insurance Dilemma

Posted: April 13, 2017

Long Term Care Insurance (LTC) is, without a doubt, the most complicated to collect. This is intentional — they do not want to give up any of the money you...

Choosing Good Care Within the Medicare System

Posted: April 13, 2017

When I think of an insurance scams I think of companies who profess to assist in “sex addiction” (whose not addicted to sex?), eating disorders (really — Karen Carpenter still...

The Big Move – From the Family Home and Living Alone to the Next Chapter

Posted: April 13, 2017

By way of introduction, I became an advisor to families dealing with “aging parents or grandparents” after dealing with my own. The amount of legal work, CPA work, and residential...