WALKING ON THE MOON DOES NOT KEEP YOU FROM AGING

Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, is 88 years old and has met his fourth wife.  The bad news, the kids don’t like her.  

Here’s what we know from media reports; Dr. Aldrin has sued two of his (3) children and his former manager.  Two children, Andy and Jan, had asked a court to name them as guardians citing his loss of cognitive function and dementia. Warrior that he is, Colonel Aldrin (ret) came out fighting!  He sued the kids, claimed they had transferred monies from his foundation for their personal use and used his credit cards without his permission and sabotaged his love life.  He made an appearance on Good Morning America excoriating his children and accused them of exploiting the elderly.  

The  ousted manager, Christina Korp, states that “almost a year ago, some people began to exert undue influence on Buzz.  These individuals began to actively try to drive a wedge between Buzz, his children and me, for what I fear is their own benefit.”  Her  argument is that because he has dementia he is vulnerable to manipulation.

My argument is that the kids and manager he is suing are doing exactly the same thing.  This ‘fight’ is about who gets to manipulate Colonel Aldrin.  His estate is valued at approximately $12 million. The two children are paid by the Aldrin foundation, as was the former manager. 

Lisa LaBonte met Buzz Aldrin because of their shared interest in STEM education (Science, Technology, Electronics, Mathematics).   She works for Carnegie Ventures and because of Colonel Aldrin’s work has become a part of his business life.  They are great friends.  

Colonel Aldrin also has a girlfriend (unnamed) and the relationship has blossomed into something more.  One can speculate as to her motive but the same can be said for the kids and former manager.  Further, If Buzz Aldrin is happy  . . . who cares?  Doesn’t  he deserve it?

All of this will be solved fairly soon as the “mental health’ tests have been administered and the Courts will review the three different opinions.  I’m only sad that a man who gave his life to service for our country (his children did not) has to defend his honor.  The children did nothing for the $12 million but now feel as though its theirs to protect.  I say, Buzz Aldrin’s life speaks for itself.  Good for him making a last stand – no matter what the outcome!

AGING ALONE? PREPLAN!

Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Old age is  like everything else.  To make a success of it you’ve got to start young.”   That is especially true if you plan to age alone, without the benefit of children or close family.    I am most likely going to age alone and I am preplanning for that.  You should too.

Today’s 80 is the new 70 and 70 the new 60.  Most of us don’t plan on giving up work, volunteering or travel until we’re well into our 70s or 80s.  I have friends who were volunteers at the Key Biscayne Tennis Tournament for over 20 years — the only reason they didn’t volunteer this year was because he became sick and couldn’t.  

As we grow older those of us aging alone have to make plans while we’re fully functional.  We have to discern what resources are available to us in whichever community we choose as our ‘last home’.  With today’s service industry and technology there is a huge advantage . . . there are healthy meal services (both for profit and non-profit), ride share and in many neighborhoods free ride services.  We also have medical care right here on the Island.  

But, as I state over and over again, it’s about preplanning.  You need to have a trusted friends or advisors who can be named as your Power of Attorney for Finance and Health. You need to decide now how to disperse your jewelry, money and tangible goods and write it down.  You should also plan to stay out of probate court.   

You also need to give your passwords for your bank, phone, computer and any other technological device you have, to trusted friends.  Sometimes the best thing to do is find a disinterested third party, such as elder care lawyer, and give it all to him or her.  Yes, you have to pay them but it’s a simple business transaction devoid of emotion.  You should also think of who is going to manage your health care from an insurance point of view so you’re not selling your tangible goods to pay for unwanted or unneeded health care.   You will need an advocate and that takes preplanning.

To review:  If you live alone now or believe that you will age alone without the benefit of family, now is the time to decide where to live, who to trust, who to choose as your beneficiaries and who to have as your Power of Attorney.  I strongly advise you consult with an elder care attorney for all the correct documentation and to have an advocate for you when you can no longer advocate for yourself. 

RETHINKING THE “I’M OLD” MYTH

Now that I’m a senior advocate and activist, I find that many things that used to be funny are now insulting.  Recently, Julie Andrews did a performance to benefit AARP at Radio City Music Hall. It was her 79th birthday.  To be funny she rewrote the words to “My Favorite Things”, here is one of the four verses: “Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings  . . . these are a few of my favorite things”

Is this funny?  Not to me.  Yet, she received a four minute standing ovation and several encore requests.  Apparently, I’m in the minority.  However, I think the truth lies in the difference between the Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers.  Ms. Andrews is part of the Greatest Generation and I suspect her audience was, as well.

First, Cadillacs are no longer and “old peoples car”, secondly cataracts now mean that if you have them and remove them — there is a lens placed in your eye so you no longer need glasses!  Hearing aids?  I’m confident that one day I might need them and with any luck Bose will have them for $500 instead of $5000.  I don’t need Polident or Fixodent and neither did my Mother and she was 88 when she died.  If you go to my dentist, Dr. Friedman. you won’t need them either!

More importantly, let’s think of how lucky we are!  In today’s world of we know how to fix things – falling thighs, exercise!  Cataracts — Medicare pays to have them removed and new lens inserted which means no more glasses! (Or at a a minimum, only for reading tiny print.)  For our teeth, we have implants!  And, if you want to tuck in the chin, eyes, tummy, face —- well, there is my doctor, John Martin and Mike Kelly.  Both are Key Biscayne residents and Dr. Kelly has a column in this paper. 

Bottom line – yes, growing older takes its toll but in todays world we can fight against it.  We’re all aware of exercise and diet.  We know if we simply walk 3 or 4 times a week we live longer,  And, yes, fried foods are a guilty pleasure  . . . which, from time to time we should indulge!  But, for the most part, let’s celebrate those lines  . . . and, if you don’t like them — get rid of them.

Medicare Supplement Insurance . . . It Can Be Tricky

George, an 85 year old, was surprised when he received a $4000 bill for his pacemaker replacement procedure, after he was told that it would cost him $250.   He’d called his Medicare Advantage plan before the procedure and was told that he would be responsible for a $250 inpatient hospital co-pay.  Unfortunately, the hospital and the doctor’s office did not tell him that his procedure would be done as an outpatient with an overnight stay.  He stayed overnight but since he was never an inpatient, the bill was applied to his $6500 deductible for outpatient services.  

It’s a constant refrain!  You’re a senior, on medicare, you do everything you’re told but somehow you still owe $4000.  Again – these insurance companies DO NOT WATCH OUT FOR SENIORS and make the simplest of “medical procedures” complicated on the non-medical side.  A simple medical procedure mixed with insurance is like a game with no rules.  It doesn’t matter what plan you choose, there is still many a “slip between cup and lip”.  No other industry in the U.S. is allowed to operate this way.  It’s illegal!

This is especially true if you have a Medicare Advantage plan. These plans are less expensive than regular Medicare with a supplement for a reason.  They may add extra benefits, but they are often more complicated to understand. So what do you need to do to avoid surprises or issues? Plan ahead, ask a lot of questions and advocate for yourself, your partner, your family members or call Parent Your parents.  We can do it for you. 

Parent Your Parents is pleased and proud to announce the advent of Ann McGuire, R.N. to our growing group of experts.  Besides being a RN she is also a certified case manager and knows the pitfalls of senior insurance issues.  Please go to our website, ParentYourParents.com to see her photo and biography.  She and I will be collaborating on more articles to assist you with getting through the insurance maze  . . . little things like what to do if you’re sent to the emergency room.

Bottom line:  remember – insurance when going to a clinic or hospital for any procedure can be very tricky.  It’s not because the doctor wants to charge you more, it’s because of the intricacies of how Medicare Advantage plans work.  

THE PERILS OF HOSPITALS

HOSPITALS — once synonymous with a place to go when you’re REALLY sick is now the last place you want to be unless it’s prescheduled surgery with a doctor you trust.  If you’re elderly and/or on Medicare you are treated as a money machine — not a person.

Here’s how it works  . . . depending on how sick you are is how quickly you’re seen.  If you have an HMO or PPO assigned to your Medicare plan then everything is a predetermined price.  If you only have a medicare card then the patient becomes an ATM. This means that the nurses and techs will run as many

tests as reasonably possible (that insurance will pay).  The Doctor will review the chart for a “diagnosis” which, in my experience, is usually “inconclusive.”

The first time you go to the ER they will probably let you go home after the inconclusive tests BUT should you go back within 72 hours the hospital will admit you.  This is because the insurance companies won’t pay for a second ER visit without a diagnosis and admittance.

Now, here’s what is very important — you cannot let your elderly Mom, Dad and/or relative stay in the Emergency Room by themselves.  Here’s why — the administration will have them sign consent forms for numerous tests that do nothing except take up time.  Secondly, the treat them horribly!  Here is my story:

I took my 90+ Dad to his HMO doc.  He was having balance issues with other symptoms that portend  a stroke.  We rush to the ER and sit in highly uncomfortable chairs with all types of sick people.  After approximately 2 hours they call Dad into a “room.”  The medical techs hook him up to a glucose drip and leave the room.  For the next 3 hours he is taken from one machine to another for test after test. Because my Father is elderly he meekly goes where he’s told.  At the end of this interminable afternoon we receive an “inconclusive diagnosis” and he is allowed to go home.

Two nights later the same symptoms occur — my brother calls 911 and Dad is whisked off to the hospital.  I get home in time to follow the ambulance to the same hospital where we’d spent the afternoon.  I stay with my Father — they finally move him to an ER room and begin to do THE EXACT SAME TESTS they did 48 hours earlier.  I question every one.  It is now 1 am in the morning — I find blankets and sleep on the floor next to Dad’s bed because they are going admit him.  (Remember, if they don’t admit him the hospital won’t be paid.)  In every case, with every test, the results were the same as the ones 48 hours earlier BUT now the diagnosis is not inconclusive  . . . it’s we need more tests and observation.  After two days they allowed him to leave with the diagnosis of dehydration!

Bottom line, if you have an elderly parent or grandparent do not trust the hospital.  When either of my parents stay in the hospital overnight we hire a “babysitter”.  Yes, it costs money but your loved one doesn’t wake up to an empty room trying to figure out where he or she is.  Further, I check the chart constantly to see what is diagnosis and medicine is being used.  Truthfully, it’s like having a child — the difference, I’m grateful to be able to reciprocate what was done for me.